Better This Way
by selenityshiroi
Summary: A character piece from William's POV. Waking up from months under Xana's control... Contains hints of one-sided WxY and not one-sided UxY, in case you're allergic to ships!


I watched Code Lyoko recently after stubling across it via the 'Random Item' button on TV Tropes. It was a fun venture, even if it wasn't the greatest quality of series ever!

I'm not sure why I was inspired to do a William POV, but the thought wouldn't leave me for the last few days and I'd pretty much written this entire thing in my head whilst at work.

* * *

The first physical sensation he's felt in months (truly felt, not some echo of feeling filtered through the black haze that had trapped him in the corner of his own mind) is the bite of cold metal against his hands and his forehead.

At first he doesn't know where he is or why he's there, and he doesn't really mind because the black haze is gone and the only voice he can hear in his head is part of him cheering because he's just managed to twitch his finger (which isn't much, but it's the first time he's been in control of his own body in a long time). But it doesn't take long for him to realise that the metal he can feel is the inside of the tubular scanners in the factory and that he can hear the hissing of the door release, so he'd better move his forehead before the next sensation he feels is his body crashing to the ground. His attempt at standing upright, however, is hindered by the fact that his limbs feel like he's just scaled the climbing wall at school twenty times and the heaviness of his body is enough to leave him clutching to the sides of the scanner.

He's not sure how he's gotten control again because the last thing he can recall is screaming at the unwanted presence in his body as it laughed over the destruction being reeked by it's giant monster, uselessly trying to rebel against another action of violence against his comrades. But then, all of a sudden, it had been the enemy within screaming and struggling as a familiar, cocky voice faded behind him and he watched his own limbs start to shatter and pixelate.

With the doors open in front of him, the light coming into the scanner worming it's way past his closed eyelids, he forced himself to step out of the machine. The effort needed to raise his feet over the lip of the door was more than he ever thought such a simple action would require. But the gasp from across the room made him redouble his efforts, refusing to be a burden to the others from now on.

He opened his eyes and he was sure that he had never thought he would be pleased to see Ulrich and Yumi holding each other. For a moment, it was like time had stopped as he saw thoughts and emotions (concern, hope, fear...and that fear made his stomach feel as heavy as his limbs) rush through them before they met his eyes and the moment was broken as they both rushed up and towards him.

'William!'

Before he knew it they were both grasping at him, and he felt so much lighter with those two pairs of arms keeping him upright and stopping him from crashing to the floor. They helped him sit gently, Ulrich holding him by his forearms and Yumi laying a supporting arm around his back. As soon as he was seated on the floor, he felt more settled. The tiredness in his limbs was starting to ease, being replaced by a general exhaustion, and his mind was becoming clearer by the second. He could just about hear some commotion coming from above, but the sound was indistinct. He guessed that Jeremie was giving some sort of information or command to Aelita or Odd.

'Are you okay?'

He wasn't really sure how to answer Ulrich's question. He'd spent months watching Xana attack the others with his body, he'd listened to Xana spouting words from his own lips. He'd spent months watching the four people he had hoped to have as friends treat him like an enemy (and there had been times when he wasn't sure if they were attacking him or attacking the being controlling him-Ulrich had brought up Yumi a few too many times whilst slicing a sword through his virtual body for him to be completely free of the idea that his attacks had always been with pure intentions). A part of him wanted to push them both away, storm out of the factory and pretend that he'd never heard of Lyoko.

But as he looked up he saw that Ulrich really was worried about him and Yumi, who had moved in front of him, was looking over him in concern, as if she could see all the attacks they had inflicted upon him on his real body. He could still see that sliver of fear in their eyes as they faced him, but he knew that they didn't want to fear him-didn't want to blame him.

'I...I think I'm okay. I don't...' And he decided that the only thing he could really do was tell the kindest lie he could think of, 'I don't really know what's happened. I remember fighting that squid thing and then things went all fuzzy.'

He looked between Yumi and Ulrich, saw his words processing through their minds. He started to continue, a story weaving together in his mind to make sure they didn't know he was aware of the fights between them, that he couldn't remember the look of betrayal in their eyes everytime his hands had been wrapped around the weapon that struck them. He wanted a chance to make everything okay between them, to give them all a chance to forget that Xana had made them enemies.

'Aelita! Nooo!'

All three of them looked up, Jeremie's shout distracting him from saying anything more to them, as if they could see the room above through the metal ceiling. He felt Yumi and Ulrich stand up, ready to race up the ladder to see what was going on, but they were halted by the familiar sound of scanner doors hissing. He looked towards it but decided that he didn't have the strength to rise to his feet, remaining on the floor between the other two.

The door opened to reveal Aelita, looking as exhausted as he felt, and he heard Yumi quickly reassure Jeremie (he guessed there was some sort of intercom somewhere) that the girl was okay. The relief in Jeremie's voice was obvious, and William would have rolled his eyes at how sickeningly cute the pink haired girl and the science kid could be with each other, but he didn't have the heart to mock them when Jeremie sounded so pleased that they had saved him.

Yumi had placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder at Jeremie's words and he decided to hammer home his charade, 'I did a pretty good job, didn't I!'.

The other three teens in the room shared guilty glances and avoided his eyes, carefully not saying anything, and he mentally congratulated himself as they looked back at him with pity and reassuring smiles. He could have done without the pity, but he was pleased to see that the fear was non-existent.

It was far better that they never knew that he remembered everything. It was far better that they all thought of him as a victim rather than an enemy. They had their own demons to worry about when it came to their fights in the digital world and he didn't want to add his burdens to their concerns.

It was better this way.

They wouldn't allow themselves to blame him for doing things that he didn't remember doing, they wouldn't look at him like he was about to turn on them, they would eventually disassociate him from the person they had been fighting against on Lyoko so they would stop looking at him with guilt roiling in their stomachs.

It was better. Because it was the only way he could see that they could still be friends. And he wanted to be friends with them.

Jeremie and Aelita both had an air of youth and naivity around them, but they were clever and he'd seen them both be tough as nails. And Odd was a strange boy, but the whole school knew he was fun to be around and had a strong sense of loyalty and friendly devotion. Despite his obvious differences with Ulrich, he'd enjoyed his company in the times they managed to push aside their feelings for Yumi and hang around like two normal teenagers. They shared enough common interests for their interactions to be comfortable and for them to talk easily. And he'd always liked spending time with Yumi from the moment he transferred into the school. They'd studied together in class and shared plenty of interesting, fun discussions outside of class. Even though he was sure that his flirtation with her would never be taken seriously (he'd once told Ulrich that he, himself, wasn't in the lead in the race for Yumi...he hadn't told Ulrich that he was pretty sure that Yumi had disqualified all of Ulrich's potential rivals at the starting line) he still liked hanging around her.

Seeing the group together had always made him feel a little lonely, because the bond between them was so strong. So untouchable. Knowing that those bonds had been forged by the danger faced in Lyoko had only made joining them in the digital world look more attractive.

He had wanted the opportunity to have that bond with them and to share in that life.

He didn't want that world taking the opportunity to be friends with them away.

It was better this way.

* * *

I guess I feel a little sorry for William. Possessed for all that time and going back to the real world to be faced with the school thinking he's a joke and his grades ruined...he's going to have a tough time of things.


End file.
